Miserable.
Sad.
Heartbroken.
Confused.
Lost.
Angry.
Empty.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Ah Love.
Monica got married this weekend.
Her & Lewis are the definition of the perfect couple.
The wedding was gorgeous...there were a few hiccups, but nothing major...trying to be on time for a wedding in Chicago is next to impossible, though, gotta say.
But the wedding, reception, speeches (not to brag, but...hey), dancing, company...everything was absolutely perfect.
Then, of course, it got me thinking about things. How I'm dating someone awesome, that I can truly see myself marrying one day...and then, I freaked out.
Words can't even truly convey how much I missed Nate yesterday.
I mean, I miss him all the time since we are long distance, and we didn't talk a whole ton this week b/c of his vaca w/his buddies, but for whatever reason, last night,I just wanted him there with me.
He definitely has a calming effect on me...I sometimes get high strung, but as soon as I hear from him or talk to him or see him, I somehow calm down and am soothed into a happy place (except last night when his energy level was a 10 and mine was a -3 at 4AM when we were on the phone).
So, as I was drinking, laughing, and dancing the night away w/some of my favorite people in the world, I kept missing my fabulous boyfriend in a way I didn't even know was possible.
Which, naturally, freaked me out some.
I've always prided myself on being strong and independent and not needing a man (other than my father) in my life.
But...maybe, MAYBE, missing Nate like I was is a good thing...I've "missed" boyfriends in the past, wanted to see them, but it was never this caliber of missing...I felt like a part of my happiness was missing for the night. (Don't get me wrong, I had a blast at the wedding and reception, loved every minute of it...but still)
Which also freaked me out.
It's only been like a month and half since we've been together! How can I care this much after only a month and a half?
But we just talked 3 different times this afternoon and after each time, I felt so much calmer.
Is this what a healthy, quality, real relationship feels like?
B/c I think I'm okay with that.
He tried his hardest to come see me last night but it just didn't work out. He was considering coming to Downers Grove at 4am just to see me, but we ultimately decided he should just go crash at his friend's house.
He wanted to see his friends too and I see him just about every weekend, so I wasn't pushing him to come see me because he was just trying to do it all at once.
Can't fault a guy for that.
It's also extremely nice to have a boyfriend who goes above and beyond to try and see me...haven't had that in a LONG time. Possibly ever.
I seriously think I'm on a really good road here.
Hmm.
Her & Lewis are the definition of the perfect couple.
The wedding was gorgeous...there were a few hiccups, but nothing major...trying to be on time for a wedding in Chicago is next to impossible, though, gotta say.
But the wedding, reception, speeches (not to brag, but...hey), dancing, company...everything was absolutely perfect.
Then, of course, it got me thinking about things. How I'm dating someone awesome, that I can truly see myself marrying one day...and then, I freaked out.
Words can't even truly convey how much I missed Nate yesterday.
I mean, I miss him all the time since we are long distance, and we didn't talk a whole ton this week b/c of his vaca w/his buddies, but for whatever reason, last night,I just wanted him there with me.
He definitely has a calming effect on me...I sometimes get high strung, but as soon as I hear from him or talk to him or see him, I somehow calm down and am soothed into a happy place (except last night when his energy level was a 10 and mine was a -3 at 4AM when we were on the phone).
So, as I was drinking, laughing, and dancing the night away w/some of my favorite people in the world, I kept missing my fabulous boyfriend in a way I didn't even know was possible.
Which, naturally, freaked me out some.
I've always prided myself on being strong and independent and not needing a man (other than my father) in my life.
But...maybe, MAYBE, missing Nate like I was is a good thing...I've "missed" boyfriends in the past, wanted to see them, but it was never this caliber of missing...I felt like a part of my happiness was missing for the night. (Don't get me wrong, I had a blast at the wedding and reception, loved every minute of it...but still)
Which also freaked me out.
It's only been like a month and half since we've been together! How can I care this much after only a month and a half?
But we just talked 3 different times this afternoon and after each time, I felt so much calmer.
Is this what a healthy, quality, real relationship feels like?
B/c I think I'm okay with that.
He tried his hardest to come see me last night but it just didn't work out. He was considering coming to Downers Grove at 4am just to see me, but we ultimately decided he should just go crash at his friend's house.
He wanted to see his friends too and I see him just about every weekend, so I wasn't pushing him to come see me because he was just trying to do it all at once.
Can't fault a guy for that.
It's also extremely nice to have a boyfriend who goes above and beyond to try and see me...haven't had that in a LONG time. Possibly ever.
I seriously think I'm on a really good road here.
Hmm.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
GOOOAL(s)!!
New month, new goal.
Last month was a disaster as so many things kept popping up!
This month:
No take out. I need to learn how to reign this habit of mine in like WHOA.
Since I am a girl who does not like to cook, and live in the 3rd biggest city in America, I can pretty much order whatever kind of food I want offline and have it delivered right to my door. I don't even have to put clothes on.
However, this habit perpetuates my laziness (ie: I don't cook) and is extremely expensive...I don't even want to compute how much money I've spent on take out over the last few years.
(Also, Nate is getting antsy to have me cook for him...apparently, my constantly telling him how hot it is to watch him cook for me is no longer good enough and he wants me to cook for him...which, unfortunately, is fair...so I need to refocus my cooking skills...or, ya know, find them so I can start to refocus...)
So, no take out for meeeee.
Also, since I've started my new job, which as sporadic hours (such is the life of a therapist), I may be having some 8am clients...and since my job is about 40 minutes away, that's going to require me getting up far earlier than I've been used to the past few months...so I need to make a hugely concerted effort to start getting up early.
I want to make it a habit. Not just once or twice a week when I have 8am clients, but every day.
Yikes.
I don't have very high expectations for this to take well in the beginning...I have become quite the night owl, and then I sleep till around 8:30-9am.
I want to keep my schedule close to what it is now...working out, errands, work, friends, etc...but I'm not sure how to do that, so it will be extremely interesting.
So...we'll see.
I'm ready to get my eating and working out back on point...the past month was a little bumpy, what with RVA training messing with my schedule and all that fun stuff. My body has definitely missed being as active as it was the past few months...and people seem to think I've lost a ton of weight b/c my eating has been so whacked out. So ready for this month!
Last month was a disaster as so many things kept popping up!
This month:
No take out. I need to learn how to reign this habit of mine in like WHOA.
Since I am a girl who does not like to cook, and live in the 3rd biggest city in America, I can pretty much order whatever kind of food I want offline and have it delivered right to my door. I don't even have to put clothes on.
However, this habit perpetuates my laziness (ie: I don't cook) and is extremely expensive...I don't even want to compute how much money I've spent on take out over the last few years.
(Also, Nate is getting antsy to have me cook for him...apparently, my constantly telling him how hot it is to watch him cook for me is no longer good enough and he wants me to cook for him...which, unfortunately, is fair...so I need to refocus my cooking skills...or, ya know, find them so I can start to refocus...)
So, no take out for meeeee.
Also, since I've started my new job, which as sporadic hours (such is the life of a therapist), I may be having some 8am clients...and since my job is about 40 minutes away, that's going to require me getting up far earlier than I've been used to the past few months...so I need to make a hugely concerted effort to start getting up early.
I want to make it a habit. Not just once or twice a week when I have 8am clients, but every day.
Yikes.
I don't have very high expectations for this to take well in the beginning...I have become quite the night owl, and then I sleep till around 8:30-9am.
I want to keep my schedule close to what it is now...working out, errands, work, friends, etc...but I'm not sure how to do that, so it will be extremely interesting.
So...we'll see.
I'm ready to get my eating and working out back on point...the past month was a little bumpy, what with RVA training messing with my schedule and all that fun stuff. My body has definitely missed being as active as it was the past few months...and people seem to think I've lost a ton of weight b/c my eating has been so whacked out. So ready for this month!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
The Boyfriend and the House
Nate just bought a house.
He keeps using the phrase "we", as in "WE can throw parties!"
He wanted me to come down and see him tomorrow (too busy before the wedding...lots going on. :-/)
His two flaws?
He's an old man and a) goes to bed early & b) sometimes forgets to call people back.
But holy cow, my boyfriend (almost) has a house. My boyfriend that I've been with for about a month, asked my opinion on a house and then bought the house. What? My "big kid" relationship is on the fast track to "super serious" and I'm not freaking out (much).
It's gonna be a crazy ride.
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